Better from Afar

I’m better from Afar. Or once in a while. Way better as a social media page. Better in text than on the phone. But better on the phone, than in person. 100% better one on one, than in a group. One on one, I can read your energy and mirror it, to make us both more comfortable, but in a group that ability goes haywire. Throw me in a crowd and I start absorbing all the different energies and I can’t focus on which to match so I’ll start over sharing. Or over drinking. Or both. Up close I can be too intense. Too awkward. Talk too much. Try too hard. Some degrees of separation are needed, for some people.

But I’m kind hearted and generous. I am truly interested in everyone else’s story. I am able to extend love and grace to most. I suppose that’s hard for many to see or know when they meet me, so often I am not immediately well liked. 

It’s ok. I’m ok. I could be worse. At least I’m not an asshole. Thank goodness for little victories.