Intuition Clouded by Trauma

I’m a Pisces. I’m an empath. I have tendencies that can be considered claircognizant. All of these things suggest strong intuition. But empathic ability is often born of trauma. The ability to read a room and feel other people’s feelings, defense mechanisms.

I understand people, what makes them tick, why they are the way they are. I have a knack for finding solutions to other people’s problems. I usually have a pretty good sense of how situations will turn out…for other people.

When it comes to myself, however, things get pretty murky. Trauma clouds my intuition with doubt, “You’re crazy, why do think you know anything?” Anxiety sends my mind spinning to worst case scenarios. The biggest trouble with this is that it FEELS like intuition and the worst case scenarios seem not only possible, but probable. My mind is trying to protect me, you see. Protect me from situations that seem all too familiar. Knowing this fact about myself actually makes it even harder. Are these chills and twisting in my gut intuition or trauma? If it’s trauma, I run the risk of jumping to the wrong conclusions and making things worse; but if it’s intuition and I ignore it because it might be a trauma response, I am failing to trust and protect myself. So often in difficult personal situations, I stay stuck for longer than necessary. I lose time and confidence and my mental illness runs rampant.

I heard a quote recently that said, “Anxiety will speak to you in questions, while intuition uses statements.” I have been trying to tap into that. Another way to look at it is that intuition requires trust in yourself, trauma tells you to trust nothing, not even yourself.

So how does one move forward? By trusting the universe. I’ve been around long enough to see how the dots have connected. To see how the biggest hardships can turn out to be the greatest gifts. The path is the path, and there are no wrong answers. If you take a wrong turn, the path adjusts, so choose your own adventure. If I trust my intuition and it turns out to be wrong, that’s the path. If I let anxiety keep me stuck for months, or even years, that is also the path. Any direction you move in life there are lessons to be learned. If you stay open and surrender, it all turns out the way it should, and that is a beautiful Little Victory.