Shoot the Duck

We pull into the Roller Kingdom parking lot and stop in front of the entrance. I am meeting Renee for Sunday afternoon, open-skate. The car door half open, I am ready to make a beeline inside. The Suze rifles through her wallet and swears. “Dammit, Sadie, I only have a twenty on me.”

“So give me the twenty.” I retort with one foot already on the pavement. “I’ll bring you home the change.”

“Fat chance. Close the door.”

At first I think, we are driving home and while unsurprised, I am furious with the unfairness of it. Instead The Suze parks the car and walks into the lobby with me.

The line winds down around the back of the room. The smell of popcorn and feet permeates the air. The carpet colors fan out in a spiral, each color its own path back to the center. There is a wall mural of a giant roller skate wearing a crown with a castle behind it. Beyond the double doors you can hear the muffled music from the DJ booth. If you want it, you got it. If you want it, baby you got it.

I see Sherry up ahead. Sherry with her already big boobs, and her very own roller skates- white with hot pink wheels, slung over her shoulder. I wasn’t sure which I wanted more, the boobs or the skates.

We are almost to the admission counter when the man in front of us turns and looking at me, says to The Suze, “I couldn’t help but notice what a beauty you have on your hands, watch out she’ll be trouble in a couple years!”

The Suze elbows me, “Sadie. Be polite. Say thank you.” I mumble a thank you while counting my shoe lace holes, wishing I could just disappear.

The Suze gives one of her fake friendly laughs, “Thank you, I know. I tell her all the time how lucky she is. We’ve talked about putting her in pageants, but she doesn’t have any talent.”

The guy frowns slightly then offers, “Well what about roller skating?”

The Suze looks down at me and shrugs, “She likes to skate, I guess, but I don’t think she’s winning competitions any time soon.” This time her laugh is less fake.

I want to be anywhere else in that moment. 20,000 leagues under the sea. Stampeded by a heard of wild buffalo. Taken away by a tornado. Maybe if it was the tornado I could land a house on The Suze.

Finally it is our turn. The Suze paid my admission plus ugly brown rental skates, and gave me two extra bucks for a soda and popcorn.

“You’re Welcommme.” The Suze says annoyed. “Yeah, thank you, you can go now.” I say in a rush.

And then I’m gone, pushing through the double doors. The blast of music feels like freedom. Literally and figuratively, Freedom, I won’t let you down. Freedom, I won’t give you up. Freedom, you got to give for what you take.

Renee and I meet up with other friends and we chase each other all around the rink. Shrieking and laughing and trying to get the boys to notice us. When the Slow Skate is announced, I head to the bathroom, like usual. Looking in the mirror I think about how all these weird grown ups are always calling me a “beauty” but no boys ever ask me to slow skate. I come out and pretend I accidentally missed the start and sit on a side bench watching the couples skate by. Slowly now we begin to move, every breath I’m deeper into you. Renee and Jason have their pinkies linked. Sherry and Spencer skate by with their hands in each other’s back pockets. God. Sherry’s life is so perfect.

Next up are the games. First they’ll do the Hokey Pokey that was for everyone, but mostly little kids. Then the races, I would never dream of trying to race. I would never even try to race on foot. After that is Roller Limbo. I had entered once before. I could have won, I could do a back bend from standing, but I forgot about the wheels and when they came out from under me, I landed so hard the wind got knocked out of me. The last game is Shoot the Duck. For shoot the duck, you crouch into a low squat, then lift one of your legs off the ground, pointing it out straight in front of you, while rolling on the other foot, holding it as long as you can, last one standing wins. I had practiced the movement, but with no skates at home, had no way to try it with wheels. Every week I watched thinking I might be good at it, but every week I remembered the Roller Limbo and stayed perched on my bench.

After the slow skate, I watch Sherry and Spencer step off the rink and fade into the shadow of the claw machine when the DJ announces it is time to sign up for the games. I march straight to the booth and put my name in for Shoot the Duck. Renee runs up, “Whoah! You never do the games! What’d you enter?” I told her. “Can you DO Shoot the Duck?!?” Renee asks, eyes wide.

“I dunno. I think, maybe.” I reply, suddenly regretting my decision.

Renee grins, “Well I guess we’ll find out!”

We sit together watching The Hokey Pokey and all the age ranges of races. I realize that pretty much everybody falls down doing Roller Limbo and this makes me feel better.

The DJ calls all the Shoot the Duck participants to the rink. Sherry and I nod at each other, as we get in line. Renee gives me a thumbs up from the side. While the DJ runs through the rules and directions; I am going through a series of images in my mind, of the least embarrassing ways to fall over. The participants skate three laps, and when the music changes to quacking, that’s when we drop into position. First I slowly squat, then lift my leg. I wobble for a second before nailing it. As skinny as my leg was, it still got heavy pretty quickly, but I grit my teeth as I watch the other kids falling one by one. I rolled to a stop, but still hold position, just in case. The DJ announces me the winner and I get a free soft serve cone. Renee runs over to hug me.

We sit in a booth with Sherry and Spencer who literally never stop touching each other, but whatever. Steve and Jason come over and cram in with us. Steve says how cool it is that I won and asks if he can share my ice cream. We all laugh and joke until suddenly, Ooh Ah Push It. Ooh Ah Push It, blasts from the DJ booth. All the girls squeal and we scramble to get to the rink as fast as possible.

I never did enter a beauty pageant, but I did win a Shoot the Duck roller skating competition. Take that Suze.